Hotdog Humorist Gifts

"It's okay, kids. It's probably no one you knew."

'Two beef and pork by-products and a turkey dog, please!'

"Being a vegetarian is one thing, but now you're hotdogging."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"I'm working from home today."

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"Yes, one is a dog."

Hats and Food

'Jurassic Pork.'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

No Soliciting

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Scuba cow"

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'I'd like to return this, please.'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

'Mom and dad...if someone threw a rock at me, it would really be like killing two birds with one stone.' 'I told you if we had a child, he'd be a wise-quacker.'

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

No jay walking.

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

'Bird Watching is fun, but it tends to make me salivate...'