Hotdog Humorist Pillows

"It's okay, kids. It's probably no one you knew."

'Two beef and pork by-products and a turkey dog, please!'

"Being a vegetarian is one thing, but now you're hotdogging."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"I'm working from home today."

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

No Soliciting

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Jurassic Pork.'

Hats and Food

"Scuba cow"

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

No jay walking.

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

"Did you know he'd joined a squirrel watchers club?"

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."