Sweet Tooth Humorist Gifts

Gossip

'Let them eat cake.'

"I smell Toffee."

Honest Vending

It must be December again -- I just had a vision of sugarplums.

American Pastry

Candy Corn Dracula

'In case of emergency, break glass.'

Snowman wife to husband eating ice cream: 'Remember what the diabetes counselor said, Hal - you are what you eat.'

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

Citizen Cane...

"Can we be seated under a vegan painting?"

"If anyone has a question do not hesitate to open your mouth wide up."

"Hang on - this one's a Malteser!!"

'We're out of sugar pills, so I'm giving you some M&M's.'

'Ok cup cake looks like its time to meet your maker.'

'It seems so festive.'

'You're lucky she didn't press charges. Never touch a woman eating ice cream.'

'A rodent Jelly Cake! Thanks Mum and Dad!'

"Fred? Can you help me? I'm really in a jam."

'I'm putting my husband's card in the bag too... he's a Dentist.'

'The law is clear. The salami sandwich sits downwind from the bench.'

'My wife's on a diet. Do you have anything like chocolate covered celery?'

'I see the problem.' Car grill looks like teeth.

Did you see our favorite comic strip today. The oldy Oldersons. Lemme see! Jebediah Drake's The Oldersons by Abner Drake, Jr. Oldena, you know, I can never tell the difference between pastrami and corned beef. Don't be so rye. Hilarious! But you know what bothers me? It's only in 95% of newspapers. Some papers are replacing it with new strips. What?! Mobilize the troops! The most powerful political group in America: AARC. The American Association of Retired Cartoon Readers. Give us Oldy or give

'The roof was just re-frosted last year. And did I mention these custom peppermint windows?'

"Do you carry any healthy snack options?"

'Toffee is very bad for your teeth.'

"I don't care what it says on the 'Chocoholics' website..."

"It looks like your book is going to be a million seller, here's a big bag of sherbet lemons for your trouble."

Passionate about Halitosis

'I'm afraid you've got diabetes.'

Misfortune Cookie

'It's more of a draw for the kids than the old gingerbread house.'

"If life is like a box of chocolates why are we on a diet?"