Dryer Gifts

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

Instructions for Bow Tie Wearers

"I like you in that one—it gives you an aura of mindfulness."

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

'I'll take it!'

Sheep In Curlers

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."

Savory Types

"What can you do with him?"

"Yes, they come out white than white, but when they went in they were blue."

Choosing What To Wear.

'I distinctly remember saying 'No Starch'.'

"I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand you, but this is a dry cleaner's."

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

'Don't just stand there doing nothing! Sell yourself a suit!'

"I want it to look good, but not ill-gotten-gains good."

'It must cost a small fortune to dry clean that suit.'

Surreal scene depicting a dry cleaner shop interior, with pant zipper flies stuck to a fly strip.

'The last suit was a bit stiff.'

'And, may I add, this hat does not scream, 'Bald Guy'.'

"First of all, this is a very casual workplace."

"Stop saying, 'Capital,' Gaines."

"Now just open wide and relax. Uncle Fred has told me he has a way to fix your braces faster and cheaper than that overpriced orthodontist."

Wrong end of extension cord.

Power Bowties: 'It projects a subtle, confident power, rather than the abrasive, overbearing power of the standard tie.'

'We want the most vulnerable...I suggest the one with the Blue Rinse.'

'Could you make sure you empty your pockets next time?'

Suits you Sir!

'I warned you! You mix a power suit coat and pants and you short circuit the vest!'

'My work clothes are at the cleaner's, so I had to borrow my kid's hoodie.'

"Yes, he is aware that it's casual Friday. He usually wears a top hat and tails."