Dryer Gifts

'This is the biggest belly button in the world.'

Cut out and keep your own Frank Sinatra.

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

Instructions for Bow Tie Wearers

"I like you in that one—it gives you an aura of mindfulness."

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

Sheep In Curlers

'I'll take it!'

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."

Savory Types

"What can you do with him?"

"Yes, they come out white than white, but when they went in they were blue."

Choosing What To Wear.

'I distinctly remember saying 'No Starch'.'

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

Ernie is a documentary filmmaker who tells stories of folks in their professional lives -- I think he should wonk on his film titles more. One film looked at the surprisingly competitive cutthroat world of the dry cleaning business. "The Hanger Games." In another, we see astronomers traveling to remote locations to escape light pollution. "The Dark Night." Ernie showed us the bond among young butchers in an increasingly vegan world. "Stand by Meat"! And he told us the story of a man who i

'Don't just stand there doing nothing! Sell yourself a suit!'

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

"I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand you, but this is a dry cleaner's."

"I want it to look good, but not ill-gotten-gains good."

'It must cost a small fortune to dry clean that suit.'

'The last suit was a bit stiff.'

Surreal scene depicting a dry cleaner shop interior, with pant zipper flies stuck to a fly strip.

"Stop saying, 'Capital,' Gaines."

"First of all, this is a very casual workplace."

'And, may I add, this hat does not scream, 'Bald Guy'.'

"Now just open wide and relax. Uncle Fred has told me he has a way to fix your braces faster and cheaper than that overpriced orthodontist."

Wrong end of extension cord.

Power Bowties: 'It projects a subtle, confident power, rather than the abrasive, overbearing power of the standard tie.'

'Could you make sure you empty your pockets next time?'

'We want the most vulnerable...I suggest the one with the Blue Rinse.'

Suits you Sir!

'You have to look sharp. You'll be evaluated by the lawyers in this case!'

"Yes, he is aware that it's casual Friday. He usually wears a top hat and tails."

'I warned you! You mix a power suit coat and pants and you short circuit the vest!'