Drug Development Gifts

'This is wonderful. It will help millions of people.'

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

The slow pace of science

"You're onto something very big. Don't let the company get its hands on it."

'Foxcroft, your research on the immune system and the drugs youve come up with are extraordinary. As a result, we're making you a district sales manager.'

"That new drug causes flatulence."

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"I bet you're curious about what's going on in the R&D Department."

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

"Whoa! Back up a second... 'R & D' stands for 'Research & Development?' We always thought it meant 'Rip-off & Distribute!'"

"I hate it when the palcebo does better than the drugs we're testing."

Engineer on the move.

'How could it have been rough for you back in Pharmacy school, Dad? You only had penicillin and aspirin.'

'Would it be cruelly ironic to shape our new cholesterol medication like little eggs?'

'Now here's my idea...we come up with a really high-priced drug to treat drug side effects...'

Inventing Time Travel

"R&D really created a miracle drug this time...at least it's been miraculous for our bottom line!"

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

"We only test our drugs on plants, so we have to do lots and lots of extrapolating."

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

"Congratulations on your invention...but you don't have to rub it in."

"Do we wait for it to be approved as an antibiotic, or do we go ahead right now and sell it as furniture polish?"

"Well, the drug's no good, but the side effects are bitchin'."

'You forgot you list of possible side-effects.'

R and D for a Pharmaceutical company

"Sorry, that was the three cups of coffee, four cans of red bull, and double dose of Paxil talking."

'Pharmaceutical stocks gave the market a real shot in the arm today...'

"Unsticky notes test #17 success!"

'I don't understand why you don't want to take your daily medication.'

"My discovery may not win a Nobel prize, Edmund. . . but the world can always use a better tasting toothpaste!"

Man Builds Piers.

Advertising campaign before product development

Surf lifesavers' joke - Corporate sharks