Drug Development Aficionado Gifts

"I hate it when the palcebo does better than the drugs we're testing."

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

"This is for the pain and these are for the side effects."

'Side effects may include....'

Alexander Fleming

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

'How could it have been rough for you back in Pharmacy school, Dad? You only had penicillin and aspirin.'

'You were right, you are in the placebo group.'

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

"I understand they've uncovered some weird new side effects since you were here last."

These Sales Reps get more aggressive every year.

'Now here's my idea...we come up with a really high-priced drug to treat drug side effects...'

'...the side effects of this designer drug are more beneficial than it's intended use!'

The start of a clinical drug trial. Your honor, we will prove beyond a reasonable doubt this pill is both safe and effective.

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

"Doric Ionic Ozempic"

Maintenance & Repairs. No wonder health care is so expensive, they told me to take to tablets every four hours.

'...may the best pharmaceuticals win.'

Meds Toast

"Well, the drug's no good, but the side effects are bitchin'."

'This is wonderful. It will help millions of people.'

"Do we wait for it to be approved as an antibiotic, or do we go ahead right now and sell it as furniture polish?"

'Here are our hot new drugs for fall.'

'Someone's here who'd like you to spend 30 days on an island with 1,000 doctors and some pain pills.'

'First Rogaine, now Viagra'

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

'It's not quite ready. Come back in 15 minutes.'

'North Korea and Iran want nukes... Palestinians elect Hamas... and now a commercial from a leading anti-anxiety medication....'

"We're sitting on a landbank that could accommodate tens of thousands of new homes. We can wait a few years and generate even more profit..."

'My portfolio is doing well after they injected it with the right combination of pharmaceuticals.'

'I own Acme Drug stock, so fill this prescription with their product.'

I won THAT Pulitzer for a drug name.