Drug Development Fan Gifts

'Sure, the term 'lab rat' has a lot of negative connotations but having drugs tested on you isn't so bad if you're a hypochondriac...'

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

"Someday, these will be installed in every home and business that wants to seem artsy."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

Toddler Feeding Solutions

Alexander Fleming

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

"I hate it when the palcebo does better than the drugs we're testing."

'How could it have been rough for you back in Pharmacy school, Dad? You only had penicillin and aspirin.'

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

"I didn't take anyone's job. This is my company."

"We've made significant progress in T-shirt cannon technology."

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

Primordial Schmooze

"I understand they've uncovered some weird new side effects since you were here last."

'The FDA now requires that we have an actor show you what kinds of side effects you might experience.'

These Sales Reps get more aggressive every year.

'I think scroll sounds better than 'continuous media,''

'...the side effects of this designer drug are more beneficial than it's intended use!'

Drug vending machines at hospital.

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

The start of a clinical drug trial. Your honor, we will prove beyond a reasonable doubt this pill is both safe and effective.

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

'The $39.95 is for the prescription, sir, and the $7 surcharge is a little something for our handwriting expert.'

"But you both can't be the 'father' of Ammonium Pentoxide Phosphate."

'Drugs' 'Viruses'.

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

'What kind of side effects do you enjoy?'

'This is wonderful. It will help millions of people.'

"Well, the drug's no good, but the side effects are bitchin'."

'If they weren't so damned good we might feel a bit more excited about the figures.'