Pharma Fan Gifts

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

"You can't please all the people all the time, so you might as well please the pharmaceutical lobby."

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"Here's a list of drug companies in my stock portfolio - could you prescribe something made by one of them?"

"I forget the name of the product, but the jingle on TV goes something like 'Ya-dee-dum-dee-rah-te-dum-dee-rah-dee-dum.'"

Pharmacist to lady: 'I'm juggling your prescriptions as we speak.'

"Cholesterol medicine commercial, Take 3. This time, try to sound less horrified when you say, 'May cause heart to explode through ears'."

"Irritable nation syndrome. What do you have for that?"

'He likes to point out the obvious.'

'Since when have they started advertising placebos on TV?'

'What kind of name is that for a vaccine?'

'Pharmaceutical stocks gave the market a real shot in the arm today...'

"Take it for excess gas."

"I assure you the drug was tested by several mice before they died."

"And how can I help you Mr. Stephens?"

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"This is for the pain and these are for the side effects."

'Side effects may include....'

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

"What I'm prescribing is so cutting edge, even I can't pronounce it."

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

'The FDA now requires that we have an actor show you what kinds of side effects you might experience.'

These Sales Reps get more aggressive every year.

'...the side effects of this designer drug are more beneficial than it's intended use!'

The start of a clinical drug trial. Your honor, we will prove beyond a reasonable doubt this pill is both safe and effective.

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

Drug vending machines at hospital.

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

"Doric Ionic Ozempic"

Pharmaco. He writes drug side effect warnings. Ah, a health scare provider.

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