Pharmacy Fan Gifts

How antidepressants should work.

'Can you give me a non-drowsy medication for insomnia?'

Henry ignored his antihistamine's warning to avoid operating dangerous machinery while using it and loses his right foot to the vacuum cleaner.

'These headache pills I took didn't work.'

'I've done it! A cold tablet that tastes like chicken soup!'

Drug vending machines at hospital.

'I warned you when you started on this medication that it was experimental.'

Pharmacy: We no longer have cigarettes, but we do sell medical marijuana.

'It says right here, Mr. Van Winkle. May induce drowsiness.'

'Side effects? You have to worry about side effects?'

'It's just my cough medicine. Stop with the 'You didn't get this from me' stuff!'

'Next time I suggest your doctor prints it!'

"These have severe side effects but they may not have enough time to bother you."

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

"This is our test group for sleeping pill products!"

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

"Just a warning about these sleeping tablets. They may cause drowsiness."

"On the plus side, by the time you read all the side effects, you'll be done with the medication."

"A side effect of my medication is memory loss..."

"He thinks he's invented a fluted, or grooved, top for pill bottles so that he can tip out a single pill rather than have a cascade of them rolling about on the kitchen or bathroom floor."

"We're out of the 500 mg size."

'These aren't big enough to convince my family I'm really sick.'

'What do you recommend for the collecting bug?'

'Grover, I believe you've reached your expiration date.'

'Side effects of this drug include stomach upset,dizziness, and bankruptcy.'

'The $39.95 is for the prescription, sir, and the $7 surcharge is a little something for our handwriting expert.'

Warning: Do not send any emails while taking this medication

'Could I get this in an 'easy to swallow' coating?'

'I need a cheap wonder drug.'

'I think I may need a stool softener. . .'

'Drugs' 'Viruses'.

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'