Nature's Pharmacy Fan Gifts

Natural Medicines

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

'The FDA now requires that we have an actor show you what kinds of side effects you might experience.'

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

Drug vending machines at hospital.

'Drugs' 'Viruses'.

"Nature can be cruel, but occasionally there are instances of great compassion."

Medical Supplies

'The $39.95 is for the prescription, sir, and the $7 surcharge is a little something for our handwriting expert.'

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

"I'm not feeling well. I'm picking up a few things at my pharmacy."

Side Effects

'Here is the mood elevating medication that your doctor prescribed. The less costly generic version is called chocolate.'

Placebonex: 'Make sure to take it every day, otherwise the effect wears off.'

'These smart pills are overpriced!"

'What kind of side effects do you enjoy?'

'If they weren't so damned good we might feel a bit more excited about the figures.'

From now on, the rats that get steroids don't have to run the maze.

"He thinks he's invented a fluted, or grooved, top for pill bottles so that he can tip out a single pill rather than have a cascade of them rolling about on the kitchen or bathroom floor."

'Have you got anything for late onset whimsy?'

"Sorry for the delay in fulling your prescription. Since you brought it in there has been two new side effects we have to add to the label."

'Success! We created a drug that is effective, quick-acting, and expensive.'

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

"Here's a list of drug companies in my stock portfolio - could you prescribe something made by one of them?"

"Lay off the natural remedies. You're beginning to ferment."

'I've become resistant to antibiotics, but what I dread is a shot of whisky in a cup of hot tea.'

"I might suggest Ritalin."