Nature's Pharmacy Fan Gifts

Natural Medicines

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

Drug vending machines at hospital.

Medical Supplies

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

"I'm not feeling well. I'm picking up a few things at my pharmacy."

"Nature can be cruel, but occasionally there are instances of great compassion."

'Drugs' 'Viruses'.

'The $39.95 is for the prescription, sir, and the $7 surcharge is a little something for our handwriting expert.'

Side Effects

'Here is the mood elevating medication that your doctor prescribed. The less costly generic version is called chocolate.'

Placebonex: 'Make sure to take it every day, otherwise the effect wears off.'

'These smart pills are overpriced!"

'What kind of side effects do you enjoy?'

'Have you got anything for late onset whimsy?'

'If they weren't so damned good we might feel a bit more excited about the figures.'

"He thinks he's invented a fluted, or grooved, top for pill bottles so that he can tip out a single pill rather than have a cascade of them rolling about on the kitchen or bathroom floor."

"Sorry for the delay in fulling your prescription. Since you brought it in there has been two new side effects we have to add to the label."

'Success! We created a drug that is effective, quick-acting, and expensive.'

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

"Here's a list of drug companies in my stock portfolio - could you prescribe something made by one of them?"

'I've become resistant to antibiotics, but what I dread is a shot of whisky in a cup of hot tea.'

"Lay off the natural remedies. You're beginning to ferment."

"I might suggest Ritalin."

"I assure you the drug was tested by several mice before they died."