Clinical Trial Fan Gifts

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

DIY marriage counseling.

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

'You were right, you are in the placebo group.'

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

Damn. Out of quarters again for the Pay Electron Microscope.

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

Rats in a laboratory labelled: 'Test, Control, Pet.'

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

Control and Out of Control Group

Placebonex: 'Make sure to take it every day, otherwise the effect wears off.'

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

'What kind of side effects do you enjoy?'

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

"We just made a big cancer breakthrough. Have a cigar."

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

The Sheepdog Trials

Therapy for the cow dependent

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

"How do you feel about turning over?"

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

'Test results are back. Coffee, donuts, sleep deprivation. Doc, you've got to start taking better care of yourself.'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

Murder trials at the criminal court shown as a theatrical show

"Sorry for the delay in fulling your prescription. Since you brought it in there has been two new side effects we have to add to the label."

'If they weren't so damned good we might feel a bit more excited about the figures.'

Soccer Ball - "I'm sick and tired of being kicked around all the time."