Dreamful Cynics Gifts

Lame Childhood Dreams

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

'I'm still employed, but to save on utility costs, they offshored me.'

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

'Blair picks safe poet caureate' "He was just giong through the motions"

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

Space Tours. Ernie, in this interview promoting your space tours, you didn't acknowledge the first test rocket was vaporized in a huge launch pad explosion. I said "The first test yielded spectacular results!" There's nothing about your lack of a system to provide oxygen for the travelers. I informed people "the experience will leave you breathless!" Lots of your technology is straight out of the 19th century! I said "Come be a pioneer!" It seems most of your company's effort went into th

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

Social media and privacy

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

'Let's face it, we're nothing but a puppet government.'

"Man, I'm sooooo bored!"

"And in this section it appears that you have not only alienated voters but actually infected them, too."

Sucking Up to Gen X

No more bribes - today.

'Our government is comprised of three branches - politicians, lobbyists, and the media.'

'These are fine, but what's in it for me?'

'I always vote for the candidate I think will do the least damage.'

'The following program may not be suitable for those of you who are sick and tired of politics....'

Mail & Political lies.

I Really Don't Care Do U?

Corrupted Politicians

'Of course you realize; Grizwell's now honor bound to give us the raise we've asked for.'

Cost of living - 'Thank God we're dead.'

"Did he give it all to the poor, or just the after salary and expenses part?"

"My wife is a doctor. That's great because I can endure the TV news only under general anesthesia."

'Vote Cameron, get Brussels.'

National Sarcasm Awareness: 'Thanks! Like that's really going to help.'