Skeptics And Cynics Gifts

'Rust, what rust?'

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

"This report says a happy workforce is a productive workforce, but I need more proof before I go changing everything around."

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

"If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we admit that the moon landing was a big conspiracy?"

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

"The sky isn't really falling -- I'm just trying to make a living."

Cemetery with graves engraved 'traditional medicine' and 'alternative medicine'.

The conspiracy behind conspiracy theories.

'Never, Ever...believe everything you read.'

"If it takes the GMC 20 years to spot a rogue surgeon what chance have you got in 20 minutes?"

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

'If this isn't a placebo you gave me, how come it says 'M&M' on it?'

'Let's face it, we're nothing but a puppet government.'

"You're not gonna stick that thing in my arm..! Nobody knows what's in it!!"