
'Following our homeopathic principles, the less evidence there is that it works. The stronger the proof.'
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'Following our homeopathic principles, the less evidence there is that it works. The stronger the proof.'
"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"
"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."
"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."
A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.
'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'
Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'
Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.
Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'
"This report says a happy workforce is a productive workforce, but I need more proof before I go changing everything around."
Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.
"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."
"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"
"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"
"This'll show the Theology Department."
'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'
Judgment Day is coming next Monday. Repent. Now, hold on. How can I believe you when so many dire prophecies haven't come true? I sealed myself in a shelter twice in the late '60s, hid in the Appalachian Mountains a decade later. A huge bunching of Judgment Day visions in the late '80s led me to simply get a time share in the Colorado mountains … Getting out of town doesn't spare you Judgment Day. I don't think. Lemme double-check the clues in Marmaduke. Mostly I needed an excuse to get away. Th
"If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we admit that the moon landing was a big conspiracy?"
"Good. I can hardly see your Catholic parents now."
"I'm going out on a limb here, and sincerely apologize to my constituents today for the misappropriations and bribes I will take if I'm elected governor."
"Oh, I know He works in mysterious ways, but if I worked that mysteriously I'd get fired."
"Nihilistic rage motivates me to cling desperately to this job."
The conspiracy behind conspiracy theories.
"If it takes the GMC 20 years to spot a rogue surgeon what chance have you got in 20 minutes?"
Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment
"The sky isn't really falling -- I'm just trying to make a living."
Cemetery with graves engraved 'traditional medicine' and 'alternative medicine'.
"Can atheists refuse to participate?"
'Never, Ever...believe everything you read.'
'Most cases like yours, Mr. Johnson, clear up completely with a healthy dose of skepticism!'
"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."
'If evolution is real how come after millions of years we're still unable to open a can of dog food?'
'If this isn't a placebo you gave me, how come it says 'M&M' on it?'
"My mind is plenty open, Grandma. But not so much that my brain falls out."
I was just watching a Youtube video called "How a Lack of Bird Poop Proved the Big Bang." It wan about how removing all sources of interference from a huge radiation detector led to the discovery of cosmic background radiation. They'd removed everything that might've been messing up the readings, and the last thing they removed was bird droppings. Then they knew the signals were real, and from space. I'm gonna have to watch that for myself, I'm not sure you've got all the details right. I was di
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