Dreamful Cynics Pillows

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

'I'm still employed, but to save on utility costs, they offshored me.'

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

'Blair picks safe poet caureate' "He was just giong through the motions"

Social media and privacy

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

'Let's face it, we're nothing but a puppet government.'

No more bribes - today.

"And in this section it appears that you have not only alienated voters but actually infected them, too."

'Our government is comprised of three branches - politicians, lobbyists, and the media.'

'The following program may not be suitable for those of you who are sick and tired of politics....'

'These are fine, but what's in it for me?'

'I always vote for the candidate I think will do the least damage.'

Mail & Political lies.

'Of course you realize; Grizwell's now honor bound to give us the raise we've asked for.'

Corrupted Politicians

Cost of living - 'Thank God we're dead.'

"Did he give it all to the poor, or just the after salary and expenses part?"

'Vote Cameron, get Brussels.'

"My wife is a doctor. That's great because I can endure the TV news only under general anesthesia."

National Sarcasm Awareness: 'Thanks! Like that's really going to help.'

Wilders breaking election promises.