Fairytale Cynics Pillows

'Frankly, Earl, if I had realized that you were a toad instead of a frog, I never would have kissed you!'

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"You're telling me I should leave the artists' commune that saved me from my stepmother's tyrannical elitism, where I have seven boyfriends, to become the impotent figurehead of another unjust power structure?"

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

"This isn't how the story went at all."

Social media and privacy

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

This wasn't quite the fairytale ending Colin had anticipated.

'Let's face it, we're nothing but a puppet government.'

Male Mid-Life Myth--The Hair Fairy

"And in this section it appears that you have not only alienated voters but actually infected them, too."

No more bribes - today.

'Come on, dad...why would anyone follow a witch into a gingerbread house? It clearly wasn't built to code.'

'Our government is comprised of three branches - politicians, lobbyists, and the media.'

'I always vote for the candidate I think will do the least damage.'

'These are fine, but what's in it for me?'

'The following program may not be suitable for those of you who are sick and tired of politics....'

If it were today. . .

Cost of living - 'Thank God we're dead.'

'I don't care if I have been here for a hundred years! What kind of pervert kisses a girl while she's sleeping?!'

"I appreciate your offer, but I was really hoping to marry a doctor."

Mail & Political lies.

Corrupted Politicians

'Forty years is as much 'Happily Ever After' as I can tolerate.'