Fairy Tale Skeptics Pillows

Male Mid-Life Myth--The Hair Fairy

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

Rape of the Lock- The Dream

Odette from Swan Lake

'Look, you're just going to have to cut back. Times have changed. . . Today's kids are full of hydrogenated oils, trans fats, corn syrup, and all kinds of preservatives.'

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

"You're telling me I should leave the artists' commune that saved me from my stepmother's tyrannical elitism, where I have seven boyfriends, to become the impotent figurehead of another unjust power structure?"

"I was hoping you'd consider this a prelude to a kiss."

'...and a beautiful witch gave me some little red slippers, but I couldn't get them on.'

Red riding hood giving the wolf a complex

Babe in the woods!

Hansel meets his biological mother.

"Gretel, I think we should have left a paper trail instead of breadcrumbs."

"I conjured you up a dress, shoes, a corsage, and a limo—I'm not ponying up for an afterparty too."

"This isn't how the story went at all."

"It's nice to see the police toughening up on juvenile crime."

Alice Through the Looking Glass - The Walrus and Carpenter.

"When I die, I want to come back at anything except a book of short stories."

This wasn't quite the fairytale ending Colin had anticipated.

'What if we form a rap band, called 'Snow White and the Seven Dogg Dwarves''

'Come on, dad...why would anyone follow a witch into a gingerbread house? It clearly wasn't built to code.'

' You shouldn't believe everything you read in the fairy stories.'

The Cheshire cat has dentures. Pass it on.

'It all goes back to something that happened when you were a frog.'

'Did she marry the prince for love for for money?'

'Well, if this book doesn't send you to sleep nothing will.'

"The economy is slowing down, last night the tooth fairy left me an iou"

Pinnochio tries internet dating.

'I know I have a name to live by, but I'd rather wear sandals in summer...'

"I like 'Cinderella' - it's just that I feel the characters of the stepsisters are underwritten."