Fairy Tale Skeptic Pillows

'You're saying these slippers were made of GLASS?! I'm sorry, Father, but as far as I'm concerned, this story has lost all credibility.'

'I'm sorry son, but in the real world ugly ducklings just grow up into ugly ducks'

The green shoots of recovery, and other fairy tales.

'I'm not doubting your word, Dad -- I just don't understand the economics of this Tooth Fairy thing.'

'Come on, dad...why would anyone follow a witch into a gingerbread house? It clearly wasn't built to code.'

'Forty years is as much 'Happily Ever After' as I can tolerate.'

"...as if a mine run by seven dwarves could be economically viable!"

'Kiss you? Not after all I went through in biology class!'

"You can't trust anything anyone says any more. Yes, cockle, pop it under your pillow for the tooth fairy."

A Fairytale Update

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

Rape of the Lock- The Dream

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

Odette from Swan Lake

The Frog Prince

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

"When are you going to stop blaming everything on Goldilocks?"

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

Many princes attempted to wake Sleeping Beauty, before one of them simply kissed her'

"I never let my hair down on the first date."

Rapunzcow

"You're telling me I should leave the artists' commune that saved me from my stepmother's tyrannical elitism, where I have seven boyfriends, to become the impotent figurehead of another unjust power structure?"

"Your tea party numbers are way down this month Jerry."

'Not only didn't he turn into a prince, but he gave me these awful warts!'

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

Mad Hatter's tea party.

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'