Draughts Devotee Gifts

"Okay Sonny, what's your game?"

Sweep the board.

I love my Timpani

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

"A pint for me and one for the woad!"

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

"Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool?"

"What is a drag queen's goal?"

The origin of storms. (Gods playing 'darts' in a pub with lighting bolts and globe).

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

Competitive tic-tac-toe

"Just for once, why don't we forget the poor and blow the lot down the local tavern?"

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

"Singing makes me self-conscious."

"There's nothing like a dame!"

In an alternate universe, characters from the rough draft and finished manuscript of the same novel meet themselves at a cocktail party.

Hmmm, not sure about these new-fangled clocks...

Highland Pipe Band Drum Major

"I think it would look better over there!"

'You know, I think this is my most boring reincarnation ever!'

'...and the Brewery are considering giving you a loyaly card!'

Tribal man drumming a message read by an Englishman"...and finally, Middlesex are 120 for 3..."

'I think he's been doped by the rival team.'

Baroque

'Don't drink on an empty head.'

"I was deadwood but I'm out of a job. I guess I'm driftwood."

'Duct tape.'

'I'm having what he's having.'

Doctor doing target practice with needles.

Susan unexpectedly found herself living life in the fast lane due to a road detour.

'If you don't stop playing that thing I'll go crazy.'

Action Re-Drink

"He's not so clever, he thinks he's playing draughts"