Draughts Dabbler Gifts

"He's not so clever, he thinks he's playing draughts"

Sweep the board.

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

Competitive tic-tac-toe

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

"How can you study while listening to music and TV at the same time?"

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

'What was the question?'

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

'If we are to differentiate ourselves from the private sector we need to focus on a reorientation of our client-facing interactions to prioritise customer led positive responses to intervention scenarios.'

Poor Holiday Gift Choice...The Lucifer 2500, Talking GPS Device.

Driving school car has sign on the rear; 'How's my learning?'

'Edwards, you fool, I'm Dr.Blake - the experiment worked! It means riches and fame for me - us! I meant us!'

"Done already?" "Yeah. I'd hate to get too sexy. I don't want to distract the airplanes flying overhead."

'I hate his more-contagious-than-thou attitude!'

'I would like to be able to refer to this statistical graph, but I have math anxiety.'

'It's just a first draft.'

'I read Robert Gates' memoir. I wish he were still Secretary of Defense so we could cut his budget!'

"Do cows grunt?.... I must have milked a pig then."

'King me!'

Despite their best efforts Hell's scientists were never able to break the scorn barrier,

Toy boat on a tsunami.

"Do you want to do that hilarious thing where we read the itemized deductions and then say 'in bed'?"

"Okay Sonny, what's your game?"

'Sorry about the vessels; I can't seem to decide if I want to be a wine guy, or a beer guy.'

The sign reads - CAUTION, BOTTOMLESS PIT, NOXIOUS. The LESS has now been crossed out.

'No more steam roller spotting for you,Henry Huggins!'