Draft Dabbler Gifts

'It's just a first draft.'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

Happy Halloween. Something's different about her. It's boo!-tox. Every Halloween its the same thing. They take candy off the house and never come to the door. That careless jerk almost trampled me! What was it? The "Heedless" Horseman! I know it's just toilet paper, but as a mummy it still gives me the creeps!

Chief Foreign Policy Advisor to President Obama.

'The crystal ball says to buy and the 8-Ball says to sell.'

My first mistake.

"Norman's really into wild paddling."

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

The Screeeen!

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

'I can't get the hang of this cloud computing...'

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

'I don't surf the net, I just kind of dog-paddle through it.'

'I can't decide whether to get a lawyer or tell the truth.'

Negotiations over the new colour scheme had reached stalemate.

'If we are to differentiate ourselves from the private sector we need to focus on a reorientation of our client-facing interactions to prioritise customer led positive responses to intervention scenarios.'

"How can you study while listening to music and TV at the same time?"

'He's at the 'awkward stage' in converting to paperless so he carries both a laptop and a briefcase.'

Driving school car has sign on the rear; 'How's my learning?'

'I hate his more-contagious-than-thou attitude!'

I was having fun making log letters when someone asked "why?" So I Qui

"I'm scanning these old photos we're afraid of losing into my computer so I can lose them there."

"Dad, let's play hide and go seek. I'll hide your data, and you seek it. And when you can't find it, you pay me to return it."

'I would like to be able to refer to this statistical graph, but I have math anxiety.'

Dr. Reynolds finally realizes what he puts his patients through as he and his wife look at paint swatches.

'I read Robert Gates' memoir. I wish he were still Secretary of Defense so we could cut his budget!'

'Last week I offered to bring Bixby into the decision-making process, and he's still dithering about it!'

"Do cows grunt?.... I must have milked a pig then."

'She's system two and this is the new beta release.'

'When it comes to investing, I'm not bullish or bearish... I'm chickenish.'

Toy boat on a tsunami.

"Do you want to do that hilarious thing where we read the itemized deductions and then say 'in bed'?"