Drag Diva Dilettante Gifts

"Finding a big enough venue for the partner conference wasn't easy...eventually we had to settle on Las Vegas!"

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

"Forget it - she's out of your league."

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

Turn around at the next junction, turn around now! Turn around immediately - you've forgotten your handbags!

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

'What superpower would I like? Normally, invisibility, but as I'm a 53 year old female, I feel that I've already been granted it.'

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

'Since we modified your daughter's digital cellular structure, she's experienced a lot of ringing in her ears. If you need me to check her status, I'll be on call.'

"Lost all track fo time with you. 93 unread messages!"

"Remember, I'm 'catch and release'."

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

"I'd text you, but I haven't learnt to spell yet."

Rusty and Molly's first date was going beautifully until the 'car tyre incident.

'He's our son, Roger. If he feels like a queen trapped inside a drone's thorax, then he feels like a queen trapped inside a drone's thorax.'

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'

The singles bar...

I'm beginning to realize you can't cram 10 gigabytes of information into a one-gigabyte brain.

"Of course, you understand you can't possibly stay here tonight."

Sitting Out the Lambada

"You know who's a big pain in the a*s? Europe."

"I dunno. It just doesn't "feel" like a diaper."

'Excuse me - Which way is Southwestern North Carolina?'

Entomology Reference: Bees, wasps, drones.

"I wrote a wonderful eulogy... unfortunately my computer crashed and I lost it."