Dance Floor Dilettante Gifts

Sitting Out the Lambada

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

Garlic Free Zone.

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'House wine?'

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"Forget it - she's out of your league."

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

Mrs. H.G.Wells.

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

'What superpower would I like? Normally, invisibility, but as I'm a 53 year old female, I feel that I've already been granted it.'

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

'Since we modified your daughter's digital cellular structure, she's experienced a lot of ringing in her ears. If you need me to check her status, I'll be on call.'

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

'Erm...I ordered the omlette!'

"Remember, I'm 'catch and release'."

"Past performance is no guarantee of future results."

"Lost all track fo time with you. 93 unread messages!"

"I'd text you, but I haven't learnt to spell yet."

"My husband is ambidextrous....completely useless with either hand!"

I'm beginning to realize you can't cram 10 gigabytes of information into a one-gigabyte brain.

"'Scuse me, Officer, but where do the elite meet to eat around here?"

"Of course, you understand you can't possibly stay here tonight."

The singles bar...

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'