Deal Dilettante Gifts

IRS. Pay Taxes Here. It's the amount owe

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

"Forget it - she's out of your league."

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

Mrs. H.G.Wells.

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

Turn around at the next junction, turn around now! Turn around immediately - you've forgotten your handbags!

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

'What superpower would I like? Normally, invisibility, but as I'm a 53 year old female, I feel that I've already been granted it.'

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

"Remember, I'm 'catch and release'."

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

'Since we modified your daughter's digital cellular structure, she's experienced a lot of ringing in her ears. If you need me to check her status, I'll be on call.'

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

'Should I buy or sell?'

"Lost all track fo time with you. 93 unread messages!"

"I'd text you, but I haven't learnt to spell yet."

"My husband is ambidextrous....completely useless with either hand!"

"Of course, you understand you can't possibly stay here tonight."

Rusty and Molly's first date was going beautifully until the 'car tyre incident.

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'

I'm beginning to realize you can't cram 10 gigabytes of information into a one-gigabyte brain.

"You know who's a big pain in the a*s? Europe."

The singles bar...

One Way/Two Ways.

'Excuse me - Which way is Southwestern North Carolina?'

"I don't care what his name was. When I said I needed a Philips head, I meant a screwdriver you idiot!"