Decision Dilettante Gifts

One Way/Two Ways.

'Should I buy or sell?'

'Ready, Hon, or do you need another sec?'

Freeway exits: Should, Woulda, Coulda.

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

'What we need is a decision, not more foot-dragging.'

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

'You know me, I'm a problem solver. I listen. I flirt with understanding. I move on.'

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

Turn around at the next junction, turn around now! Turn around immediately - you've forgotten your handbags!

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

"Lost all track fo time with you. 93 unread messages!"

'Since we modified your daughter's digital cellular structure, she's experienced a lot of ringing in her ears. If you need me to check her status, I'll be on call.'

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

'We've considered every potential risk except the risks of avoiding all risks.'

"I'd text you, but I haven't learnt to spell yet."

They used a scientific method to decide which new product idea to pursue.

"You know who's a big pain in the a*s? Europe."

I'm beginning to realize you can't cram 10 gigabytes of information into a one-gigabyte brain.

"The job stress was already bad enough, but now I have to choose between 56 flavors of coffee."

The singles bar...

'Excuse me - Which way is Southwestern North Carolina?'

"I wrote a wonderful eulogy... unfortunately my computer crashed and I lost it."

"How could I flunk? All my answers came straight from Siri."

'He has trouble choosing what he wants.'

"You are headed south. Your destination is straight ahead."

"What's my password? Oh yeah... 'OnCe upona thimeh.'"

"To succeed you need luck and pluck. That is, luck in finding someone to pluck."