Decision-making Dilettante Gifts

'We've considered every potential risk except the risks of avoiding all risks.'

Elevator, stairs or Path of Least Resistance.

'What we need is a decision, not more foot-dragging.'

"Eenie meenie miney mo..."

'Hi, I'm that bridge you said you'd cross when you came to it.'

"Let's see which decision gets reversed first."

'You know me, I'm a problem solver. I listen. I flirt with understanding. I move on.'

They used a scientific method to decide which new product idea to pursue.

Up, down, whatever (elevator with apathy)

"But first, doctor, please help me decide which way round to lie."

An elevator goes in every direction.

'He has trouble choosing what he wants.'

'Yep - I've flipped my coin and I'm sticking to it.'

"The job stress was already bad enough, but now I have to choose between 56 flavors of coffee."

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

Garlic Free Zone.

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

"...I try to communicate with Desmond, but all he ever does is grunt."

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'The second day of my diet is the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'House wine?'

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

Can you mumble, mumble mumble? You're mumbling. What are you saying? I'm asking for your mumble, mumble. You're asking for my help? I can't get the word out. Can I get a little mumble? Mumble.

Too Skinny, Too Fat

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

Turn around at the next junction, turn around now! Turn around immediately - you've forgotten your handbags!

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."