Doughnut Warrior Gifts

Linda sets a pick, allowing Dave a clear path to the last doughnut.

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

Revenge of the Jelly Mother.

"Ninja bread men"

Picking pastries.

'A wheel? No wonder I broke a tooth. I thought it was a donut.'

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

Doughnut Making

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

Dog Day Afternoon

"I'm retaining doughnuts."

'It's a type of credit card that self destructs when it reaches the limit I've set for you.'

"All those who want the doughnuts with jam in the middle please raise your hand."

"Always faithful to arrive early and, of course, get the dibs on the jelly doughnuts."

"I wish he'd spend less time baking and more time inventing."

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

Student Debt

"Eat more pizza and doughnuts and stop exercising. Just kidding, you should see your face!"

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"Your call is important to us, but not as important as this delicious cream donut with chocolate sprinkles that I'm about to eat..."

"Croissants? Donuts? Chocolate? Good price, madame! Good price!"

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

It took a while but Henk finally did lose his Christmas bum.

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

Doughnut Criminals

"I see, Mr. Pipkins, we're back on the bourbon and smoking through glazed doughnuts."