Peanut Butter Warrior Gifts

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

Revenge of the Jelly Mother.

"Ninja bread men"

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

Flu vaccine.

'He can't be all bad if he still likes peanut butter.'

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

"No, no … the sashimi is fine. But I’m not crazy about your Wi-Fi signal."

Jelly I.V.

"And it shall be called peanut butter. And it shall appear as if perishable or in need of refrigeration but in truth it shall remain shelf-stable for months, though the oil may separate and require stirring. And there shall be a crunchy variety and there shall be a smooth variety. And . . ."

"The nurse thinks she's sneaky, but I know my meds are in the peanut butter."

'I'd like something with a high amount of vegetable protein, a bit of glucose or dextroe for energy, and some fiber.' 'One peanut butter and jelly on toast.'

"Take it easy, honey. Beneath that terrifying rage is our twelve-year-old daughter. My GOD, when will the wi-fi go back on?!!"

"I hab peenut buffer stok to woof of my mout!"

'My parents are giving up desserts for Lent, so I'm balancing the family diet by giving up vegetables.'

Heavy man wants the cake and Edith too.

"A flake? I told you I'm on a diet."

"Beans count as healthy vegetables but jelly beans don't? Not faaaiiir!!!"

"That's your separation anxiety? When the oil separates in your all-natural peanut butter?"

For the Love of Peanut Butter

The race against gravity with an ice cream!

'Bon Bons Away!'

'Well at least we got him off the sofa.'

'I didn't know it was so dangerous. . . Mac's coffee.'

"When you're done cyberattacking, your PB&J, with crustd cut off, is waiting."

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

Peanut Butter and Jam Attack,

"I'd trade, but peanut butter sticks to my tongue stud."