Peanut Butter Aficionado Gifts

'I'd like something with a high amount of vegetable protein, a bit of glucose or dextroe for energy, and some fiber.' 'One peanut butter and jelly on toast.'

'Hank, I don't think this a good time to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.'

"Just remember, it's what's on the inside that counts."

"I'd trade, but peanut butter sticks to my tongue stud."

Peanut Butter and Jam Attack,

"I hab peenut buffer stok to woof of my mout!"

"When you're done cyberattacking, your PB&J, with crustd cut off, is waiting."

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

"Don’t worry, this guy is totally cool. Just don’t mention the Red Baron."

'Look at that! Peanuts!'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

"He has a terrible peanut elegy."

'He can't be all bad if he still likes peanut butter.'

Table Of The Elephants

"You finished with your peanuts?"

"And it shall be called peanut butter. And it shall appear as if perishable or in need of refrigeration but in truth it shall remain shelf-stable for months, though the oil may separate and require stirring. And there shall be a crunchy variety and there shall be a smooth variety. And . . ."

"If I have this peanut in my pocket, it means I must have buried my keys!"

Jelly I.V.

"The nurse thinks she's sneaky, but I know my meds are in the peanut butter."

'My final offer.'

'This feeling of passion I have for you ...'

"No religious nuts!"

'Here's a bag of nuts if you get hungry.'

"Mom, Eugene picked all the peanuts off the pizza!"

"Then there was the dream where I woke up in a pool of melted butter."

For the Love of Peanut Butter

"That's your separation anxiety? When the oil separates in your all-natural peanut butter?"

'We know it's your dream, son. But stay in school. Get your degree. Don't pin all your hopes on a major league career.'

What if he could be 'churned' to the dark side?

'What happened to the free peanuts?'

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

"It's like as soon as we got married the man became so stupid we can't even remember how to slap some peanut butter on a cracker."

See, Peanut? I told you that 'Melt in your mouth, not in your hand' line would get you in trouble someday!