Peanut Butter Appreciation Gifts

"Ooh, are those Reese's Pieces?"

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"Don’t worry, this guy is totally cool. Just don’t mention the Red Baron."

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'Look at that! Peanuts!'

'He can't be all bad if he still likes peanut butter.'

Table Of The Elephants

"If I have this peanut in my pocket, it means I must have buried my keys!"

"The nurse thinks she's sneaky, but I know my meds are in the peanut butter."

"And it shall be called peanut butter. And it shall appear as if perishable or in need of refrigeration but in truth it shall remain shelf-stable for months, though the oil may separate and require stirring. And there shall be a crunchy variety and there shall be a smooth variety. And . . ."

Jelly I.V.

"You finished with your peanuts?"

Lunch Meet

'I'd like something with a high amount of vegetable protein, a bit of glucose or dextroe for energy, and some fiber.' 'One peanut butter and jelly on toast.'

'My final offer.'

'This feeling of passion I have for you ...'

'Here's a bag of nuts if you get hungry.'

"No religious nuts!"

"Mom, Eugene picked all the peanuts off the pizza!"

"I hab peenut buffer stok to woof of my mout!"

"That's your separation anxiety? When the oil separates in your all-natural peanut butter?"

'We know it's your dream, son. But stay in school. Get your degree. Don't pin all your hopes on a major league career.'

For the Love of Peanut Butter

'What happened to the free peanuts?'

"It's like as soon as we got married the man became so stupid we can't even remember how to slap some peanut butter on a cracker."

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

Peanut Butter and Jam Attack,

See, Peanut? I told you that 'Melt in your mouth, not in your hand' line would get you in trouble someday!