Peanut Butter Enthusiast Gifts

'There's a delay on the expressway: A truck loaded with peanut butter is spread across three lanes causing a traffic jam.'

Peanut Butter Warning: Contains Peanuts.

'This tea is dreadful.' 'It's peanut butter soup.'

"You can try all you want, but being smooth is just something you're born with."

"The nurse thinks she's sneaky, but I know my meds are in the peanut butter."

"One last question. Would you like the remains to be creamy or crunchy?"

"That's your separation anxiety? When the oil separates in your all-natural peanut butter?"

For the Love of Peanut Butter

Things I Learned From My Brother. . .

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

'I like a boy in my class. Do you have anything that smells like peanut butter?'

"Ooh, are those Reese's Pieces?"

'I'll tell you my secret peanut butter recipe, but please don't spread it.'

'The nutrition information on peanut butter should be given by the finger instead of by the tablespoon.'

'We're out of peanut butter.'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"It's like as soon as we got married the man became so stupid we can't even remember how to slap some peanut butter on a cracker."

"I'll trade you a peanut butter sandwich for your meds."

"And it shall be called peanut butter. And it shall appear as if perishable or in need of refrigeration but in truth it shall remain shelf-stable for months, though the oil may separate and require stirring. And there shall be a crunchy variety and there shall be a smooth variety. And . . ."

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"Don’t worry, this guy is totally cool. Just don’t mention the Red Baron."

'Look at that! Peanuts!'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"He has a terrible peanut elegy."

'He can't be all bad if he still likes peanut butter.'

Table Of The Elephants

Jelly I.V.

"You finished with your peanuts?"

"If I have this peanut in my pocket, it means I must have buried my keys!"

'I'd like something with a high amount of vegetable protein, a bit of glucose or dextroe for energy, and some fiber.' 'One peanut butter and jelly on toast.'

'My final offer.'

'This feeling of passion I have for you ...'

'Here's a bag of nuts if you get hungry.'

"No religious nuts!"

"Mom, Eugene picked all the peanuts off the pizza!"