Donor Gifts

"The university is delighted with the endowment but is there any flexibility over calling it the 'who's the rich one now you toffee nosed bastards' wing?"

A donor overcomes fear and risk with data and transparency in order to get funding.

"Okay, we've donated to the Food Bank, Feed the Hungry, Food for Life, Hunger Helpers, Starving World, Second Helpings. . . is anyone else getting hungry?"

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

Half of those who made no donations last year 'do not trust charities'.

"It's a large gift - a very large gift. So the question is: do we rename ourselves 'Aunt Tilly's Frozen Fish University'?"

'Then one day money no longer turned me on, so I decided to give it all away to a young dame named 'Charity'.'

Give To Tsunami's Victims.

'I can't believe it. The same woman who sends me to my room for staining my clothes just donated money for stained glass.'

Peace on Earth, Goodwill to the less fortunate...

The next step in human evolution was homophilanthropist.

"I gave until it hurt."

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

The nonprofit dog fight.

Maple tree donating syrup at a syrup drive clinic.

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

'Nobody's leaving till I get the offering plate back!'

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

Scarecrow chasing Igor with a brain

"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."

"It's that Silicon Valley foundation - they want to know if we'll match our grandson's $100 million donation."

"I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."

Honey badger do care.

'Good news, men, when we give to the poor now, it will qualify for federal matching funds.'

"I hope this thing is free-range!"

'Sorry - I've got strong views on Sunday Trading!'

'Can I choose which brick you name after me?'

'The problems with charities is that they are always needing donations.'

Thanks And Giving.

"No, there is not an annual cap on tithes."

'I want to leave my body to the medical school, and my mind to the psychiatric hospital.'

'Have you seen my amplifier.'

"Done saving the world for today."