Donor Relations Gifts

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

The nonprofit dog fight.

Maple tree donating syrup at a syrup drive clinic.

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

Peace on Earth, Goodwill to the less fortunate...

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

'Nobody's leaving till I get the offering plate back!'

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

'Perhaps we would be better off with fewer fans on Facebook and Twitter, and more on Visa and Mastercard!'

The Andrews brothers had an ongoing competition of seeing who could donate a pint of blood the fastest.

"It's that Silicon Valley foundation - they want to know if we'll match our grandson's $100 million donation."

"I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."

Honey badger do care.

"Now, before we actually help them, let's discuss our partnership and method of assisting."

"Okay, we've donated to the Food Bank, Feed the Hungry, Food for Life, Hunger Helpers, Starving World, Second Helpings. . . is anyone else getting hungry?"

'Sorry - I've got strong views on Sunday Trading!'

I lost a heart in San Francisco.

'Good news, men, when we give to the poor now, it will qualify for federal matching funds.'

The next step in human evolution was homophilanthropist.

"I just ate my organ donor card."

'Your neighbor wanted me to break up a wild party, but actually, I find this a congenial affair,'

'The problems with charities is that they are always needing donations.'

Give To Tsunami's Victims.

'It was all she had to offer, vicar.'

"Done saving the world for today."

"Funding for 'Nova' is provided by Merck and Lockheed, by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, and by annual financial support from viewers like you."

"No, there is not an annual cap on tithes."

'Have you seen my amplifier.'

"The university is delighted with the endowment but is there any flexibility over calling it the 'who's the rich one now you toffee nosed bastards' wing?"

Half of those who made no donations last year 'do not trust charities'.

Don't think of it as tithing. Think of it as a cover charge.

"It's true we like our members to be regular givers, but irregular givers are certainly welcome."