Donation Devotee Gifts

'The problems with charities is that they are always needing donations.'

'I was doing a lot of good, but then the funding ran out.'

The next step in human evolution was homophilanthropist.

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

Thomas Hardy

'We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, except for Hancock... who smells bad...'

'Breaking Bad' Box Set Addiction.

"Bonk!"

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice a favourite, and entrusted by his master.

"I'd call that 'A victory for science.'

'I don't believe it - if this evidence is correct it'll rock the very foundations of our research grant application.'

"'Best wishes'? That's it? That's all you got?!"

The nonprofit dog fight.

Church Restoration Fund.

Maple tree donating syrup at a syrup drive clinic.

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

"Oprah is definite, Barnes and Noble is giving you front windows, and Norman Mailer has agreed to a feud."

'You'll be very happy here...I know I am!'

'Nobody's leaving till I get the offering plate back!'

"When in the course of human events it becomes... Oh, blast it! Adams is just going to edit the heck out of this..."

"'Time management' is an essential executive skill. . . I spent the first hour on a Monday morning the delegating tasks and the rest of the week napping."

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

"But you both can't be the 'father' of Ammonium Pentoxide Phosphate."

One book... One book... One book...

"What do you say we let the service sector handle our dining needs for tonight?"

'A fight has broken out between Dr. Who fans and Star Trek fans. No hurry, the likelihood of anyone getting hurt is very small.'

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

Sir Edmund Hillary Arriving Home To His Third Floor Apartment