Domestic Tranquility Lover Gifts

We never go out anymore.

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

'I love it here. It really floats my boat.'

Yoga.

"Showoff"

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

Noise Pollution

"It is my place!"

"Think about the honey."

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

Muzak's Top 10

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

The apartment 5-J Film Festival.

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

Confucius say: shut up.

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

The black cat sat on the mat...absorbing all the heat of the fire.

"Honey, could you pass me the cow."

"It's your turn to throw out the dishes."

Meditation: Do Not Disturb.

Meditation Center

'Phew! What a day! I almost lost my aura of supreme tranquility.'

Working from Om

'No madam, the seat does not keep falling down, to the annoyance of male users, would you like one that does?'

"The Hewletts have flaming crown roast au vin blanc every Wednesday."

'Dear, I think the plants need watering.'

"Is something bothering you?"

"I admire your devotion to duty."

'The key to inner peace? A land line.'

Go away

'Please excuse the mess guys.My husband's doing a correspondence course in Embalming.'

"I'm sorry I used three squirts of washing up liquid instead of two."

'The Only Time it's Okay for a Man to Think about Nothing.'