Domestic Bliss Enthusiast Gifts

"I'm sorry I used three squirts of washing up liquid instead of two."

"The Hewletts have flaming crown roast au vin blanc every Wednesday."

"It doesn't get any more low-maintenance than this!"

"I keep thinking I can hear a hypersonic missile."

'Milt should be home anytime, moaning as usual about the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.'

"Think about the honey."

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

"You don't understand, Mom. Our staying in and watching TV is not the same as you and Dad staying home and watching TV in Dayton, Ohio."

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

"It's your turn to throw out the dishes."

The black cat sat on the mat...absorbing all the heat of the fire.

"Honey, could you pass me the cow."

"Is there something wrong with the TV focus?"

'No madam, the seat does not keep falling down, to the annoyance of male users, would you like one that does?'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. II

"I said, I had the cat declawed."

"IF you wanted to leave, why didn't you just say so?"

These colours haven't just run. They've sprinted!

"Just empty it."

'If your mom's not happy then nobody's happy, right dad.'

"I guess my wild days are behind me."

Wedding Cake with groom hoovering

"That's fine. I've learned to enjoy TV with no sound when we're at odds."

"I'm staying in my nightie until 1997."

"But I'm accustomed to captivity. I wouldn't survive a day in the wild."

The Brook-Green Volunteer Pt. 8

"What are you complaining about? When I met you, you were living in a one-room apartment."

'Why do you never change these things out when they're empty? They're not an infinite scroll.'

'And that is how you put the toilet seat down. There will be a quiz on Friday'.

"And do you promise never to fight over the thermostat setting?"

'I didn't realize how much I missed her until I ran out of clean clothes and dishes.'

"Gone insane. Your dinner's in a wheelbarrow on the M25."

Ethel's offer to iron out Ned's problems turned out to be a problem in and of itself....