Domestic Bliss Analyst Gifts

Graph in front of house reads: The Pecks State of Well-Being.

A crowd of happy pet owners.

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

"You don't understand, Mom. Our staying in and watching TV is not the same as you and Dad staying home and watching TV in Dayton, Ohio."

How it started: How it's going

Ever wonder why we debated what color fridge to buy?

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

"It's your turn to throw out the dishes."

"Is there something wrong with the TV focus?"

The black cat sat on the mat...absorbing all the heat of the fire.

Insomnia.

'No madam, the seat does not keep falling down, to the annoyance of male users, would you like one that does?'

"I said, I had the cat declawed."

"IF you wanted to leave, why didn't you just say so?"

Sure, I wanted Joe to 'settle down.' But I always assumed he'd eventually get back up!

"The Hewletts have flaming crown roast au vin blanc every Wednesday."

'I'll tell you what mister - I'll lose ten pounds and stop nagging, the same day you act your age, cleanup after yourself, cook your own food and get a brain in that fat head.'

"I'm sorry I used three squirts of washing up liquid instead of two."

'I tried to get him to reinvent himself, but he said he couldn't get a patent.'

"Just empty it."

Bloody Little Hitler

"I guess my wild days are behind me."

'If your mom's not happy then nobody's happy, right dad.'

'How about we get this closet organizer as a together gift?'

'Harold doesn't have an ego problem. It doesn't bother him that he's inferior to me in every way.'

"That's fine. I've learned to enjoy TV with no sound when we're at odds."

"What are you complaining about? When I met you, you were living in a one-room apartment."

"The secret to a good marriage son is to do most of the spring cleaning..."

"I'm staying in my nightie until 1997."

"But I'm accustomed to captivity. I wouldn't survive a day in the wild."

"It doesn't get any more low-maintenance than this!"

'Why do you never change these things out when they're empty? They're not an infinite scroll.'

'And that is how you put the toilet seat down. There will be a quiz on Friday'.

"Of course I'm sensitive to your needs...tell me what you need and I'll be sensitive to it!"