Domestic Bliss Appreciator Gifts

"I'm staying in my nightie until 1997."

The black cat sat on the mat...absorbing all the heat of the fire.

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

"Think about the honey."

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

"You don't understand, Mom. Our staying in and watching TV is not the same as you and Dad staying home and watching TV in Dayton, Ohio."

"The groceries are in the car."

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

"It's your turn to throw out the dishes."

"Honey, could you pass me the cow."

"Is there something wrong with the TV focus?"

'No madam, the seat does not keep falling down, to the annoyance of male users, would you like one that does?'

"The Hewletts have flaming crown roast au vin blanc every Wednesday."

A man opens his curtains to wake up his cats.

"I said, I had the cat declawed."

"IF you wanted to leave, why didn't you just say so?"

"He's the domesticated kind of werewolf."

"I'm sorry I used three squirts of washing up liquid instead of two."

"Just empty it."

"I guess my wild days are behind me."

'If your mom's not happy then nobody's happy, right dad.'

'He's still got his looks - good job I've got used to them.'

A Misdelivered Letter

We never go out anymore.

'Because it's the only thing that still whistles at me. That's why I keep it.'

'How about we get this closet organizer as a together gift?'

"That's fine. I've learned to enjoy TV with no sound when we're at odds."

"What's the matter, forgot where you parked your butt?"

"What are you complaining about? When I met you, you were living in a one-room apartment."

'He makes his own gin too.'

"But I'm accustomed to captivity. I wouldn't survive a day in the wild."

The Brook-Green Volunteer Pt. 8

"It doesn't get any more low-maintenance than this!"

'And that is how you put the toilet seat down. There will be a quiz on Friday'.

'Why do you never change these things out when they're empty? They're not an infinite scroll.'