Domestic Bliss Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I'm sorry I used three squirts of washing up liquid instead of two."

"The Hewletts have flaming crown roast au vin blanc every Wednesday."

"It doesn't get any more low-maintenance than this!"

"I keep thinking I can hear a hypersonic missile."

'Milt should be home anytime, moaning as usual about the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.'

"Think about the honey."

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

"You don't understand, Mom. Our staying in and watching TV is not the same as you and Dad staying home and watching TV in Dayton, Ohio."

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

"Honey, could you pass me the cow."

"Is there something wrong with the TV focus?"

"It's your turn to throw out the dishes."

The black cat sat on the mat...absorbing all the heat of the fire.

'No madam, the seat does not keep falling down, to the annoyance of male users, would you like one that does?'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. II

"I said, I had the cat declawed."

"IF you wanted to leave, why didn't you just say so?"

These colours haven't just run. They've sprinted!

"Just empty it."

"I guess my wild days are behind me."

Wedding Cake with groom hoovering

We never go out anymore.

'If your mom's not happy then nobody's happy, right dad.'

"I'm staying in my nightie until 1997."

"But I'm accustomed to captivity. I wouldn't survive a day in the wild."

"What are you complaining about? When I met you, you were living in a one-room apartment."

"That's fine. I've learned to enjoy TV with no sound when we're at odds."

The Brook-Green Volunteer Pt. 8

'Why do you never change these things out when they're empty? They're not an infinite scroll.'

'And that is how you put the toilet seat down. There will be a quiz on Friday'.

"And do you promise never to fight over the thermostat setting?"

"Gone insane. Your dinner's in a wheelbarrow on the M25."