Domestic Bliss Devotee T-Shirts

"I guess my wild days are behind me."

"Think about the honey."

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

"You don't understand, Mom. Our staying in and watching TV is not the same as you and Dad staying home and watching TV in Dayton, Ohio."

Giraffe holding up the washing line.

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

The apartment 5-J Film Festival.

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

"Is there something wrong with the TV focus?"

The black cat sat on the mat...absorbing all the heat of the fire.

"Honey, could you pass me the cow."

"It's your turn to throw out the dishes."

'No madam, the seat does not keep falling down, to the annoyance of male users, would you like one that does?'

"I said, I had the cat declawed."

"The Hewletts have flaming crown roast au vin blanc every Wednesday."

"IF you wanted to leave, why didn't you just say so?"

"I admire your devotion to duty."

'Dear, I think the plants need watering.'

"I'm sorry I used three squirts of washing up liquid instead of two."

"Just empty it."

We never go out anymore.

'If your mom's not happy then nobody's happy, right dad.'

'Is something wrong, dear? -- you're home on time for dinner!'

'How about we get this closet organizer as a together gift?'

"The secret to a good marriage son is to do most of the spring cleaning..."

"What are you complaining about? When I met you, you were living in a one-room apartment."

"I'm staying in my nightie until 1997."

"But I'm accustomed to captivity. I wouldn't survive a day in the wild."

"It doesn't get any more low-maintenance than this!"

"That's fine. I've learned to enjoy TV with no sound when we're at odds."

'On the plus side she'll be able to help you with the chores.'

'Why do you never change these things out when they're empty? They're not an infinite scroll.'

'And that is how you put the toilet seat down. There will be a quiz on Friday'.

Ethel's offer to iron out Ned's problems turned out to be a problem in and of itself....