Domestic Hehe Enthusiast Pillows

"I can’t hear the answer you’re screaming from another room to the question I screamed from this room."

"I didn't spark joy."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"Were we expecting a baby?"

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

“I’m stayin’ home — I want the world to know — I pro-bab-ly won’t go!”

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

"The blow drier is broken."

Living together, couple in love.

'Maybe putting 'Sleep 20 Hours A Day' first on the list wasn't such a good idea.'

'Harold, I told you not to eat the last piece of pie!'

'Certainly you may come in for a drink. You live here.'

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

"I’ve changed my mind. I no longer want to conquer the world. I just want to conquer those two..."

Hi love...one less for tea tonight

"I can't sleep... it's too warm in here."

"Please don't go!"

'It's almost as if you haven't heard a single word I've thought.'

'Oh, well done dear. I'll just go and clear a space in the freezer for it.'

'Your wife came by and left a message'

"And you think the world revolves around you..."

Did you remember the mousse?

"He's lazy and not very handy around the house. But I'm a cartoonist, and he provides me with a ton of material."

A baby biting a boys wristwatch

'It's a prize for being first to go home.'

"I admire your devotion to duty."

New Sheik'n'vac magic carpet freshners.

Couple with sign on wall: 'A Messy Marriage is the Sign of Genius'

Recycling husband.

"Nice, but it's still a fish bowl. We'd like something with a little more privacy."

"I only make that muck for you, I've ordered myself a pizza."