Domestic Duty Dodger Pillows

'Making a To-Do List is on my Bucket List.'

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

'Forget 'forsaking all others', you can have the week off' (housewife to husband).

"Which end does the diaper go on 'cause there's stuff comin' out of both of 'em!"

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"

Heavy-duty, super-capacity, two speeds, 10 cycles. All of them vicious.

"I cloned myself to take care of my Thanksgiving duties while I watch football in peace."

'Well at least your washing up arm is O.K!'

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

"Got outta jury duty!"

"I've decided to give up my day to day responsibilities."

'You thought having 'flu would get you out of doing the dishes.'

'Whew! Looks like the Tuna Surprise isn't much of a hit!'

"All I said was, 'I'll take out the garbage when I'm ready'."

The good news is, I'm granting your request for house arrest. The bad news is your wife's to-do list.

Obstacles for women

"You recused yourself from this case. I recuse myself from jury duty."

'Dinner.'

'Poor Adam -- now she's got him mowing the place!'

"If this meeting becomes too heated, we'll create a distraction...like running out the door."

'Now you're out of order!!'

"Tell your father that garbage was on Tuesday."

"If you're so interested in watching reality, how about watching your baby brother?"

"I'll be using tonight's briefing to show some data on domestic duty sharing, then I'll take questions from the floor."

'It's Mother's Day! Leave all this for tomorrow...'

"He forgot to record the game, so he had to watch it live. The 1,284 commercials was too much for him to handle."

"This is defifitely not going on my facebook likes."

'At least this will get me out of jury duty.'

Since Norman retired he likes to stay useful around the house.