Civil Duty Dodger Pillows

'Now you're out of order!!'

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"

"I cloned myself to take care of my Thanksgiving duties while I watch football in peace."

'So why are so worried? I'm leaving my fate in the hands of 12 people not smart enough to get out of jury duty.'

"Got outta jury duty!"

'Making a To-Do List is on my Bucket List.'

'You'll be bound over for trial by a jury of whomever we can get for $5 a day.'

"Oh look! Another crappy grant which requires my goddamned work interact with the f**king community!"

'Forget 'forsaking all others', you can have the week off' (housewife to husband).

"Sorry Mrs. Tate. There's no cure for Not-Taking-Out-The-Garbage-Itis."

'You thought having 'flu would get you out of doing the dishes.'

'Whew! Looks like the Tuna Surprise isn't much of a hit!'

'Tell me why I should excuse you from serving on jury duty. Be careful what you say. I have been trained to read between the lies.'

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

"I've decided to give up my day to day responsibilities."

'We have special circumstances here Your Honor...Mr. Juttle committed the crime so he could get out of jury duty.'

Winter depression.

"You recused yourself from this case. I recuse myself from jury duty."

Michael Cohen Attorney at Law

"If this meeting becomes too heated, we'll create a distraction...like running out the door."

"Bad news...you don't have a deadly disease. You've got to go back to work."

'Great news! Your father's got a job.'

"If you're so interested in watching reality, how about watching your baby brother?"

"I've been called for jury duty. How can I get out of it?"

'Wait...Sir...It's customary to pay for services when rendered!'

L-L-L-L-Lobster Face!

Sure, due process sounds good --- But do you really want to get stuck with jury duty?

Congress Hits 'Not Quite a Wimp'.

"This is defifitely not going on my facebook likes."

"He forgot to record the game, so he had to watch it live. The 1,284 commercials was too much for him to handle."

'At least this will get me out of jury duty.'

"If my wife calls, I'm at the protest."

"I programmed your fitness watch to tell the truth."