Domestic Duty Commentator Pillows

'It's Mother's Day! Leave all this for tomorrow...'

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

Always Compatible

"But I use all of them!"

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

"You might want to save that for your blog."

Heavy-duty, super-capacity, two speeds, 10 cycles. All of them vicious.

Those missing socks...where do they go?

How it started: How it's going

'Well at least your washing up arm is O.K!'

"I'm getting awfully tired of raking up you underwear..."

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

"Dinner will be ready soon, I hear the pizza truck rounding the corner."

'I didn't even know she was angry until she started shooting.'

'Making a To-Do List is on my Bucket List.'

"Did you say something? I thought I heard a sound bite."

"Jordan takes his wife's wind chimes – he shoots!"

"Dinner's ready!" "I can't hear you!"

'Forget 'forsaking all others', you can have the week off' (housewife to husband).

"There's food in the fridge, and clues about the state of our marriage all around the house."

'In another universe parallel to our own.'

'Shall I fry it or flush it?'

"Have we got time for a quick argument before our programme starts..?"

'I got custody of the kids.'

"I can smell his fear of commitment."

Woman has man in shopping trolley

Going Shopping Together.

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

"All I said was, 'I'll take out the garbage when I'm ready'."

"Surely I'm allowed an opinion!"

'Poor Adam -- now she's got him mowing the place!'

"This man has some sort of complaint about the pie his wife ordered, sir."