Comedian Of Domestic Life Pillows

"Well if these walls could talk, I'm pretty sure they'd agree with me."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"Take me to your Larder!"

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

"The couch hates me Jane!"

"For God's sake, Lucille. We're IN a vacuum."

"But I use all of them!"

'That's the problem with living with an artist, the fruitbowl is always off...'

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

"Honey! He's breached the recliner! I repeat, the puppy has breached my La-Z-Boy!!"

"Why not pay someone to clean out the gutters?" "Total waste of good beer money." And just like that, Gail became a widow.

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

"I must come to the supermarket with you sometime dear, they seem to sell everything!"

"They're clean Mum, I washed them yesterday."

"Galileo, I've had about enough of all your gravity experiments!"

"You're good mum. But, Billy's mum is a better cook than you. She only knows how to make chocolate cake."

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

How it started: How it's going

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

'I can't take much more of the happiness treadmill.'

'I thought you said, 'What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom'!'

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

'You've had a bad day? Try being stuck in this house!'

'It's a new record, mom - there are six of us in here!'

'Don't blame me - It's my husband's cooking!'

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work. I overslept.'

"I'm getting awfully tired of raking up you underwear..."

'oh...You're home, just when my spirits were rising.'

"We couldn't do this before the iron age."

'My interest in gardening backfired when I married a couch potato.'

"Dinner will be ready soon, I hear the pizza truck rounding the corner."