Domestic Dynamics Comedian Pillows

"We met on a self catering holiday and he's still there!"

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"Take me to your Larder!"

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

'Hold on, Baby, Hold on!'

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

"For God's sake, Lucille. We're IN a vacuum."

"You overwatered the plant, again."

"But I use all of them!"

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

"Why not pay someone to clean out the gutters?" "Total waste of good beer money." And just like that, Gail became a widow.

"Honey! He's breached the recliner! I repeat, the puppy has breached my La-Z-Boy!!"

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

'I can't take much more of the happiness treadmill.'

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

'Don't blame me - It's my husband's cooking!'

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work. I overslept.'

2050 A. D: Cloning is quite common place.

"I'm getting awfully tired of raking up you underwear..."

'oh...You're home, just when my spirits were rising.'

'My interest in gardening backfired when I married a couch potato.'

'On second thought, he does do one thing around the house -- he cleans out the refrigerator.'

'A Dust Cow'.

"Dinner will be ready soon, I hear the pizza truck rounding the corner."

Man to wife about book: 'Honey, I think the novel wants out.'

"We couldn't do this before the iron age."

"The five-second rule doesn't apply to soup."

"That's not the thrum and rumble of the great metropolis -- that''s the dishwasher."

"... and don't forget to clean out the garage and attic... and the gutters need to be..." "Put a sock in it, Sally. You knew I wasn't an eager beaver when you married me."