Domestic Duty Hero Pillows

The good news is, I'm granting your request for house arrest. The bad news is your wife's to-do list.

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

'Caw blimey!'

The household cavalry

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

'Occupation? You name it, that's ME.'

"I did my 10,000 steps by looking for my reading glasses."

'Daddy, what did you do on Armed Services Day?'

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

Heavy-duty, super-capacity, two speeds, 10 cycles. All of them vicious.

And so Bob's folks sent him off into the world. But not before running a few last tests, just to be sure he could handle it.

"I wish you'd get more in touch with your masculine side, Robert"

You can't focus on the cost of raising a child. True. They do have benefits. Mom! The glue spilled into your underwear drawer! Dad! Where's the toilet plunger? Though nothing specific leaps to mind.

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

"Well of course it's fast food. I cooked it faster than a speeding bullet."

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

Iron Lady and Iron Man

"Okay, you two! Clean up the house and do the laundry while I take the kids to school!"

"I only need two tools: WD-40 if something doesn't move that should, and duct tape if something moves that shouldn't!"

'Well at least your washing up arm is O.K!'

"Let me know when the floor is clean enough for me to put my feet on it again."

I put a feather pillow in the dryer by mistake! The repairman looked at me and said: 'Sorry about your duck!'

Man of steel wool.

balanced life

"Being a mum is a full-time job."

"Sloth is a sin."

Woman tangled up ironing

'Isn't it time you got over your silly fear of water?'

Wonder Woman!

Husband does the housework

"You can't leave! I haven't had dinner yet!"

'Making a To-Do List is on my Bucket List.'