Domestic Duty Debater Pillows

"I'll be using tonight's briefing to show some data on domestic duty sharing, then I'll take questions from the floor."

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

'It's a senior management position. We need someone who can listen politely, and then say no.'

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

Always Compatible

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"I don't think Dawson understands the concept behind the 'Talking Stick.'"

"You might want to save that for your blog."

Verbal Orders

Heavy-duty, super-capacity, two speeds, 10 cycles. All of them vicious.

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

"We should never have committed binary fission!"

John Newman

'Well at least your washing up arm is O.K!'

I will not chew gum in class, even sugarless....

"I will be reading a prepared statement, but I don't know who prepared it, so don't blame me!"

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

'I'm involved in lots of office politics. Do you have this in Kevlar?'

'I didn't even know she was angry until she started shooting.'

"Did you say something? I thought I heard a sound bite."

Vicarage - Beware of the Dogma.

Mandate: 'Further discussion?'

A headmaster in the stocks covered in rotten eggs.

'Shall I fry it or flush it?'

'If kids have to be raised properly, does that hurt?'

'No Billy! I am not ready to see you yet!'

Helms Burton Titulo III

"Have we got time for a quick argument before our programme starts..?"

"It seems your polls have slumped ever since that issue with the washing up."

"So is there anything apart from us stopping being 'a bunch of cynical dishonest lying hypocrites' that would help us secure your vote?"

Going Shopping Together.

"I can't remember. Are we for or against cloning?"

'Poor Adam -- now she's got him mowing the place!'

"It's important to remember my son; without evil, we would all be out of a job."