Domestic Disagreement Explorer Gifts

"Is there anything else I can do wrong for you?"

"You're fired."

'She'll never look for me here.'

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"I finally cleaned my room. You don't think she'll look in the yard, do you?"

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."

Assault weapons go over the cliff.

"The clothes looked extra dirty... so I used the whole box of detergent!"

"We should never have committed binary fission!"

"And for a left-handed designated hitter and a player to be named later, Mr. Steinbrenner would gladly fly Elián home."

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

I don't know if neuronal stem cells can or cannot become blood cells but one thing is for sure, neuronal stem cells can become controversial.

Colin attempts to be useful around the house didn't always have the desired effect.

"It's all right dear, it only seems what it is."

"You'll do anything to get out of taking out the garbage."

Kingfisher feeding from a water lamp.

'Dear, would it be all right if I was assertive for a minute?'

'Well, if you insist on using logic I see little point in continuing this argument.'

"It helps."

Profiles in Courage

"Lift your stems."

'I'll tell you what mister - I'll lose ten pounds and stop nagging, the same day you act your age, cleanup after yourself, cook your own food and get a brain in that fat head.'

Jihadi Art Critics Circle

Stay at Home Yellowstone.

'I knew I shouldn't have brought you along. I haven't had a hit all day.'

"I said, I had the cat declawed."

When they said more people were choosing to holiday at home I think they meant in the UK

"Don't worry, dear, we'll find your wedding ring."

'You're in my light!'

Distracted young couple let hot water overflow

We never go out anymore.

Father struggling with the microwave

"What's caused the recent increase in radio listening?"

Vietnam and abortion atrocities.