Domestic Harmony Explorer Gifts

Woman to husband as cat re-enters living room through front door: 'Did you put the cat out, Al?'

'She'll never look for me here.'

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

Separation Anxiety

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

"You don't understand, Mom. Our staying in and watching TV is not the same as you and Dad staying home and watching TV in Dayton, Ohio."

"I wish you'd get more in touch with your masculine side, Robert"

A woman's work is never done!

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

Ever wonder why we debated what color fridge to buy?

"Can I call you back? We're having our favorite argument."

'In Grandma's time, men were hunters, while women were cleaners and shoppers. Now daddy and mommy are both hunters, but on wekends, mommy still cleans and shops, while daddy is a golfer.'

"Despite my best efforts, you're still the man and I'm still the woman."

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

"It's all right dear, it only seems what it is."

Did you clean the loose snakes out of the shower drain? Medusa's husband.

Looks like I do dishes again.

Kingfisher feeding from a water lamp.

Magic Carpet Cleaning

'You're always taking the fun out of everything!'

"It's your turn to throw out the dishes."

'My Graham is very house-proud.'

"You'll do anything to get out of taking out the garbage."

The Cricket on the Hearth - Title-page to the first edition

'Will these glasses help him see things my way?'

'Dear, would it be all right if I was assertive for a minute?'

Blanket Pull

'No madam, the seat does not keep falling down, to the annoyance of male users, would you like one that does?'

"Honey, please! I can’t concentrate with you in there being married to me!"